Domestic Abuse is a theme that is important for the world to understand, so we can change a development we don’t want to be a part of. Behind every act of abuse lies someone’s trauma. In cases of abuse there is an offender and a victim – and both need help. We need a new understanding about abuse, and to be willing to find the causes and not just treat symptoms.
What does the word abuse mean? The word itself is a combination of two words; abnormal and use. Understanding this makes it easy to recognize how one treats others. For example, yelling and screaming to someone is abnormal use of the voice, and is therefore abusive behavior.
There are two kinds of abuse: physical and psychological/mental. Physical abuse is related to any physical damage such as beating or restraining; sexual; financial; alcohol or drug abuse. Psychological/mental abuse is related to any psychological/mental damage such as surveillance, ignorance and neglect, verbal, manipulation, insults and humiliation as well as passive–aggressive behavior.
Why do some people treat others they supposedly love in an abusive way? Feeling more secure in a home environment may lead to a habit of letting feelings out behind closed doors. If a person hasn’t learned how to deal with emotions in a balanced way, unresolved emotions build up and result in explosions towards people near and dear to them. The intention might not be to harm anyone, but unfortunately this is the tragic result. Another reason may be that a person has grown up in an environment where violence has been the only way difficult emotions were handled. Unfortunately, this leads to undesirable behavior because one doesn’t know of any alternatives. This is the way the brain develops. Starting when a fetus is still in the womb of the mother, during childhood and teen years, learning, experiencing and observations take place that create neural pathways in the brain. The brain uses these familiar pathways until they are changed, so if a neural pathway for violence has been created, it may be the only behavior one knows how to use.
Change is possible for those who want to change. To avoid emotional explosions, one needs to understand and learn to deal with emotions so they don’t keep building up. Since the brain is flexible, old neural pathways can be transformed. Transformation is the only way to get lasting change.
A person might think that they don’t abuse others or behave abusively. Being aware of the two words in abuse: abnormal and use, regarding the way we treat others, is a first step. Willingness to change is also necessary, in order to develop away from abuse.
DB-System® can help victims of abuse to cope with emotional scars. I myself was a victim until I learned mental techniques to balance my brain, created new neural pathways and transformed incidents in my own life, thereby creating a happier and more peaceful life.
When the brain is in balance, it is possible to react in a balanced way between emotions and reason.
It is possible to achieve a peaceful daily life. Peace in each individual leads to peaceful families and furthermore to a peaceful world.
Deborah Borgen
Founder
